Missions MisAdventures – just for fun


A German guy jogs regularly early morning while on a missions outreach with us in Balut, Smokey Mountain.  As a YWAM base, we sometimes host several teams usually from Europe and the US to work as volunteers at the Nutritional DayCare,  Immunization, or Student Sponsorship.
One member of the German team was into this healthy running habit despite the squatters around and the puzzling narrow streets.  He always ran passing by several children who greeted him “Hi Joe!”
He was not pleased with at all.    Getting annoyed with the “Hi Joe” associating him as an American,  he confronted them.   He decided to tell them he is not an American but rather a German. “Stop calling me  Joe, please. I am not American.  I am a German.”   As he went on his way about a few feet away  the kids shouted in a chorus – ” Hi Hitler!!”
He turned back home to the base visibly offended and teary eyed.  We tried to console him and from then on we included this incident in our orientation.   Usually,  the poor people assume all white people come from America.


Our first time experience as house parents of teams coming to YWAM base was very memorable and quite fun.  A team of young people from Europe stayed with us at the 7 bedroom YWAM house for several weeks.  Our duties and responsibilities were  to give them orientation such as the time and sked for worship, breakfast, lunch & dinner,  use of telephone, our location address,  mailing of letters,  place to shop, to exchange money their money into Philippine pesos, and other things related to missions.

One hot humid 105 degrees Fahrenheit,  the weather was terribly warm and sweaty  after  working  in the garbage dump.   Imagine, the sun ignites papers, plastic and methane gas into flame and smoke which decreases visibility.  At our YWAM housing  several fans works day and night to alleviate our guest’s “sufferings”  and discomforts.  Those fans blew away smoke and sooth irritations.  People keep using the shower three times a day.

Then we noticed some girls in their swimsuit sun bathing  in our front yard.   We don’t have a swimming pool.   Though they were within the perimeter of our  YWAM property, the people outside  passing by can still see them through the baluster fence.  It’s quite unacceptable in our culture to move around the house half naked or wearing underwear.

So instead of  tackling those kids we decided to confront their leader first.   We hurriedly ran inside the house looking for their team leader while we bumped on the rest of guys wearing skimpy shorts.   Finally  we’re dumbfounded as we saw the leader,  he’s wearing a ‘speedo  underwear’! What can I say?  We carefully thread our way explaining and included this experience in our “team orientation”.

Mexico Outreach

On one of the DTS (Discipleship Training School), a student prankster shared this story. A younger sister  was on her way to Mexico for a  missions outreach.  She had a lovely cat that she entrusted to the care of her older sister.   Three weeks later,  the younger sister phoned her older sis just to find out how’s  everything at home.  She asked  .  “  So how’s my cat? “  “She died”, said the older sis.  There was a long silence. 

Finally, the younger sister blurted..   “ You’re so insensitive,  you know how ‘am attached to the cat.  You should have broken down the news to me.  On my first call,  you should have said – ‘she’s playing on the roof’.  On my 2nd call,  ‘she fell down and she’s in the hospital’  Then on my 3rd call,  ‘ Then you can say, the vets did what they can….’    Well, .. anyway

‘how’s grandma doing?”   “She’s playing on the roof”


Applying for Citizenship

This is a popular Filipino joke which I kind of revised.  A  Filipino missionary was applying for  U.S. citizenship but the immigration officer had a hard time pronouncing his name.   So the officer told him to state his name again and inquired its meaning.    The guy said, ” Sir, my name is  Joaquin Atawol.  But I really don’t like my name because it means  “coffin” in our language.  The officer, therefore, suggested to change his name to his liking and asked him to come back.   So on his way home, he ate at his favorite fast food and he had a “revelation”.     When he returned for his appointment to see the officer,  he said. “ Okay,  your honor,  I got a new name,  – it’s Jack In The Box.”.

Malunggay leaves .. moringa in English?

My sister in law’s outreach to Northern Philippines showed the real Filipino hospitality.  A lady they ministered to kept insisting their group of 3 to eat lunch with her.  Smiling widely she told my sis in law she prepared a variety of northern specialties for them.  However, there was something green in between her teeth while she talks and holds their arm toward her house.  The food is very delicious and its getting cold.   My sister in law couldn’t help but notice the malunggay leaves in her teeth.  So she said,  “I think I know what you prepared and cooked for us. ”  “Really? okay can you guess?”  the smiley lady replied.  ”  It’s malunggay!!!” my sister in law blurted.  ” You’re wrong,  that was our lunch yesterday!!”.